elijah's development update



Elijah crawling at 14 months....after many tears and many exercises to strengthen his core....He was determined NOT to crawl. Wanted to go straight to walking, which (unbeknownst to me) is a big no-no in the physical therapy world.



Our sweet Elijah

Now 29 months old...

After much prayer and struggle and knocking down the doors of every doctor we know, I've finally got some answers from the internet (I know, duhhhh, why didn't i think of that sooner?). We had a genetics test done a few months ago. The results came back that there is an abnormality on his 13th chromosome, but the lab and the Dr said they're not sure exactly what it means. So, I kinda forgot about it. I figured, well if the Dr doesn't know, then how would I get any info? Well after more struggle with speech delays and Elijah just not "getting it" I finally realized I need to do my own research on this particular chromosome (the exact gene is 13q22.1). I've always thought that there's something "more" going on with Elijah, other than just a delay.

Apparently there is an entire community of kids that have this same abnormality or something very similar. If there is a loss on this particular gene, there can be some very major issues (cancers, retardation, vision and hearing problems). Thankfully God has spared us from the severe issues. But, it also causes hypotonia (low muscle tone), speech delays, constipation, sensory integration issues...all of which Elijah has.

The information I found...
http://www.rarechromo.org/information/Chromosome%2013/13q%20deletions%20various%20FTNW.pdf

A network of families who have kids with the same "chromosome 13q deletion" 
 http://www.chromosome13deletion.com/index.html

                Elijah...you can see the drool (low muscle tone around mouth)
and squishy legs
and torn-up knees from scratching (related to sensory issues)



Learning all of this has been enlightening to me! I feel a sense of relief. This whole time, I've felt a sense of guilt, like I did something wrong, or didn't do enough, that created his delay. That its my fault. But learning about this, takes the burden off of me and reminds me that we are all "fearfully and wonderfully made" by God and he doesn't make mistakes.

I also have been comparing Elijah to big Bro Micah and other kids and think "When will he ever talk correctly?" ..... but learning about this gene has put everything in perspective for me. Most kids who have this 13q22.1 have much more issues.

God has shown me that I'm completely NOT in control. That our times are in His hands. We are all flawed. We are all messed up. But thanks be to God that He will come again and make all things new again. I've also been tempted to fear about what all this means for our future- for Elijah, for our adoption, for our family. But, again, the Holy Spirit living in me reminded me "I will not leave you, nor forsake you" Joshua 1:5

I just have to say how thankful I am to ALLLL of these people that have been helping us for the past year, helping us sort through all of this!

• Hattie Lett (Todd's Aunt)- a PT; first noticed Elijah's delay at 12 months; gave us many tools to stregthen his muscles
• Early Intervention Valley Haven - Hattie, Tricia, Jennifer, Kelly (free!) - much encouragement, love, PT, OT and speech therapy; many practical tips
• Precision Medical/Carrie Jinwright- Made Elijah's sure steps for his pronated feet (for free!); educated me more about hypotonia
• Dr Rubin - a developmental pediatrician in atlanta; did the genetic testing; relieved our fears about worse case scenario
• Dr Pitt- our chiropractor- stimulates nervous system, prayer, encouragement, nutrition support (sees kids for free!)
• My Mom- encouraging us to see the developmental pediatrician
• Our family in Auburn- Grandmother's biscuits and everyone else's love
• ALL for children- more speech therapy
• Debbie Vail- nutrition encouragement
• Lakeview friends and nursery workers- much love and encouragement
• The adoption world- opened my eyes to the world of sensory issues 
• "Scratch me nots"...He cannot sleep without his scratchmenot on...He scratches 24/7
• Dr Stiles- put tubes in Elijah's ears and took umpteen viles of blood for genetic test while he was under anesthesia
• Our pediatrician, although they did not see the delays, have been helpful with the basics

What's next....Should we see a geniticist? Looking for more nutrition help to support muscle tone. Possibly Dr Adams.

A letter to my child I have not yet met

Written almost 2 years ago on November 12, 2010 ...after many sleepless nights, when the Lord spoke clearly to me "pursue adoption". Elijah was 6 months old, and Micah 2 1/2.

"Dear child,

"I don't know your name. I don't even know where you live. You may not even be born yet but the Lord has a good plan for you. He has been working on our hearts for a long time. Since Daddy and I were single, we thought abot adoption. We talked about it when we were dating and engaged. We both saw what life was like in orphanages- Daddy in Kazakhstan and myself in South Africa. We saw the loneliness and the hopelessness and decided, even in our singleness, that we would one day adopt."

"God tells us to take care of the orphan. God tells us to make disciples of all nations. We desire to obey these commands. We want to bring you home with us. Last month, in October [in 2010], we decided that we wouldn't just talk about adoption anymore, but that we wanted it to become a reality. If we don't, we'd be disobedient to God Almighty. We don't have any extra money right now, but because we fear the Lord, we are taking a blind leap of faith. I was laying in bed one night when I heard it start to rain and the Lord reminded me that if He will supply water and provide for the birds, He will surely provide for us to adopt you. We desire to live counter-culturally and radically. We do not look at our circumstances, which tells us "no, don't adopt" but we look upon the Lord. He can do the impossible. With God all things are possible. So we're beginning the application process now. Actually, I just finished it. I'm waiting for $500 for the application fee [side note- I went to the mailbox later that week, and there were 3 checks in the mail- for $700!!!] We are trusting God for all $30,000 [another side note- As I write this, the Lord has provided $20,000 so far]"

"I'm so sorry you were abandoned. I'm so sorry that you will have to leave your country behind. I'm so sorry that you may never know your biological family. I don't understand it all. But I do believe that your biological mother made a good choice to birth you. I'm excited to meet you. Daddy and Micah and Elijah are excited to have a new brother or sister too."

"I will fight for you, dear child. I will search high and low for that money so that we can bring you home with us. People think I'm crazy, but that's what they said about Jesus too. I'm willing to be like Jesus, for you."

Love, your Mommy"

Chappy's Deli Fundraiser Night

We had great food and fellowship, and a great turnout!

10% of their sales from 5:00 to 8:00 go directly to our adoption

WE WILL BE THERE AGAIN ON AUGUST 24!!!

 look for my receipt mailbox!

home study approved and waiting...

We are home study approved!!!! It's taken a looong 8 months to get to this point (we are on the "slow track"). This is a big deal in the adoption world. The homestudy is basically the ticket for an adoption. We are so thankful for our agency, Lifeline (www.lifelineadoption.org), our social workers patience with us, for friends and babysitters that have helped us A LOT, and for the Lord's spirit of endurance! It feels good to be done with all the paperwork and meetings!

Our homework, since January...We've learned a lot about perseverance!

So, what now?
Well, now we wait for immigration approval, which is basically the "stamp" on the homestudy from the US government. We're hoping to be cleared and our dossier (the homestudy plus immigration approval) sent to China October-ish. Still hoping to be mat

Most grant applications require your homestudy approval, so that's my job now :)

                                             Holding strong at close to $20,000


Today, instead of focusing on what will make us “feel better” in the moment; let’s remember to continually fix our eyes on our Eternal Comfortable – the One who will ultimately satisfy us.
(Thank you...http://blog.lifelinechild.org/encouragement/comfortable/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=comfortable)

final homestudy meeting report

• The biggest "news" from our social worker: it's most likely a boy! There are many baby girls abandoned in China, so I assumed it would be a girl. But, all-too-often boys are "left behind" because so many adoptive parents go for a girl. We chose to request either- boy or girl. We were told it's a good chance it will be a boy. The emotions I have are similar to when we had an early ultrasound with Micah and the tech said "it's probably a boy, but don't paint the room blue yet"
• We're hoping to get our official "match" by New Year's, and travel next summer
• Things are going well with paperwork, getting our "dossier" together
• Getting our immigration paperwork in (the government has to approve our homestudy, and say that we are suitable to bring a child home, which costs $890-yikes!)
• Have to get federal fingerprinting done in Atlanta or Birmingham
• The Lord continues to provide for our adoption! We always have "just enough" in our bank account. SO many people have been generous in giving to us. The latest gift- friends had a yard sale for us, and gave us $500!!! I am constantly reminded that the orphan is on God's heart. He cares about adoption.

Other news...

• applying for grants
• reading up on China culture (interesting finds in my reading...plan for squatty potty's and bring your own toilet paper; Buddhist temples are everywhere; scorpion kabobs will be on the menu)
• Have more coffee for our fundraiser. The Lord has used it to provide $800 for our fees!!

God listens!

Well, it's been 2 month since my last post. We've been slammed with adoption homework, Todd's 2 jobs, Elijah got tubes in his ears, and traveling to FL to visit my Mom.

As I was reading my last post, I smiled because God has answered 2 of our prayer requests since then......

1. Our adoption fundraiser yardsale was a hit!! I asked for $2500 and the Lord provided $2700!!! The Lord always goes above and beyond! We had 33 families donate. My house was wall-to-wall stuff for a week. We had people knocking on the door all week long to bring stuff, and shop. I never want to see a round sticker again.

2. Our country decision. We were so unsure about Congo. The Lord led us to China. We are excited! China is one of the few countries, other than Congo, with a short travel time and young kids available. Their adoption program is only for kids with medical special needs. We requested to be matched with a child with only the most minor/correctable conditions (minor developmental delays, cleft lip, extra/missing digit, crossed eyes, birthmarks). And we have a good chance of getting matched with a girl, as a result of the "One child policy" that requires many families to abandon their 2nd female child. There are 1 MILLION kids in China waiting for their "forever family"

What's Next....

• ONE more document left for Todd to do!! He's been so busy that he hasn't had much chance to get it done. And that will conclude our homestudy!!!
• Our 4th and FINAL homestudy meeting with our social worker (this meeting will be in Birmingham) will be in June - Lord Willing.
• Our social worker is typing up all of our MANY documents into one official package called our "dossier" pronounced doss-ee-ay
• Our dossier will be sent to the State Dept. and translated into Chinese
• Then it will be sent to China and we will be officially "in" China (hopefully by the Fall?)
• Wait for immigration approval
• We will then wait a few months to be matched with our child!
• Wait for travel invitation (~ 10-12 months from now?)

 How our fundraising is going...

• Still selling coffee! The Lord has used it to provide $800 so far!
• Our total is about $17,000 thus far! Thankfully switching to china will not increase our fees too much. Our goal is still $28,000
• Trusting God for donors for our $2500 matching grant (give $2500 and get $5000)

a typical baby room in china, where the child-adult ratio is VERY low

can you imagine- no hugs, no holding hands, no reading books together, no family movie night...

just waiting for your next bottle to be propped up on a pillow

spring fun/homestudy update

We are about 60% finished our homestudy. In 2 months, I've read 2 books, completed 7 hours of online training, had 2 interviews with social worker, and other random paperwork. Whew..... Still have about 10 hours to go for our online training. Why does it have to be so difficult? There are so many kids out there and some days, I just feel "stuck" in paperwork. But God is teaching me a lot about patience, submitting to our government and trusting Him with all 147 million orphans. HE can take care of them a lot better than I can.

Gearing up for yard sale fundraiser. Getting lots of donations. Praying that God would provide $2500 in this yard sale to go towards our $2500 matching grant. If you'd like to donate anything... email me KimberlyLPate@gmail.com

Praying for God to lead in our country choice. Not certain the congo is for us. There have been some more safety warnings. Still no completed adoption in congo through our agency. Waiting on the Lord. Don't have to be decided until the final interview with social worker. Another country? Stick with congo, but go with a different agency? There are only a few other countries that have babies available, and a relatively short travel time.

I'm having a ball outside with the boys this spring. Micah is the best bug-hunter I've ever seen. From sun-up to sun-down, he has his fingers in the dirt. Poor Todd can't join us though. It's been an aweful allergy season this year. Elijah follows Micah everywhere. Getting ready for his 2nd birthday.

Our latest addition to the family. Baby chickens.

I guess I'm the Mama hen. They follow me everywhere.